Thu, 28 Jun 2001 04:26:31 -0500 (EST) _____ . . ______ | _ \ |\ |\ |__ _\ _ | | | / _ | | | | _ \ | |\ | | _ | |_|/ |_\ | | | | | | | | ___ || // / | | _ \ |/ |/ \_ | |/ _ \ _|| | / | | | \|\ || || /| | || __| / | \\ | |_| /| | | \__ | \__ |_| | |||__ | ||| ||_|| |____/ |_| |____\|____\ |_|\___| \__| \__| ___ _ _ __ __ _ _ __ _ _ _____ / __\\ \/ /| _\| _\| | | | | _\| \ | \\_ _/ __/ /__ \ / || _||_ | | | | _||_ | \| | | | \ __/ / \ || \ _|| | | | \ _|| |\ | | | / / / /\ \|\_ ||_ | |_ | |_ ||_ | | \ | | | / /__ / / \_\\_||__||___||___||__||_| |_| | | /____/ /_/ V _ |\ __ /\ /||_\ || ___ ___ / | ___ _ _ ___ \ \ / | _||/ _ \/ _ \ | |||/_ ||\/\/|/ _ \ \ \/ / |\ / || __||| || \ || //||| /\ || __| \ / | || |||||__ ||_|| \ |||_|||| ||||__ \/ |_| \__|\___|\___/ __|||___||| ||\___| |\ \__| ___ ||_ _ ___ _ _ _|\_ _ __ _ ___ /_ | _||\\ /// _ \||/ ||_ _||| ||||/// _ \TM //|| / | \\ // | __|| /|| || || ||| / | __| ||_||| ||| \\/ ||__ || || || ||_|||| ||__ |___| \__| V \___||| || || |___||| \___| BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT VIDEO GAME ADVENTURE FAQ version 1.00 by Wilson Lau Copyright © 2001 Wilson Lau This FAQ is best viewed in Courier, 10 point font. This FAQ may be distributed FREELY so long as it remains unaltered AND is the latest version (see below for where to obtain the latest version). It is intended for PRIVATE USE and may NOT be reproduced for commercial purposes by mechanical, electronic, or any other means. Do not try to sell it even if no profit is made off this work. In addition, this FAQ may not be used for personal gain by submission to game magazines, web sites, etc. Email any comments, changes, typos, etc. to me at darktoshi@yahoo.com. Make sure that you are reading the latest version BEFORE you email me. Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure is copyright © 1990 LJN LTD. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is copyright © 1989 Nelson Films Inc. All rights reserved. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- You may find this FAQ and all future revisions at: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dark Toshi's Home Page (me) www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/4610/ GameFAQS www.gamefaqs.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- CREDITS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game Genie Code Creators Club Game Genie codes. Nintendo Power vol 26, 32. map of Medieval World, "CJD" terminology, Western World bait locations. GameFAQs for putting a FAQ bounty on it which is the sole reason this FAQ exists. ============================================================================= CONTENTS ============================================================================= I. FAQ History II. Story III. Controls IV. Gameplay V. Items, people, historical dude-bait list VI. NPC Conversations VII. Maps VIII. Walkthrough Medieval World Western World Colonial World Modern World Medieval World 2 Ancient World IX. Ending X. Secrets and Codes XI. Frequently Asked Questions XII. Credits XIII. Disclaimer ============================================================================= I. FAQ HISTORY ============================================================================= Version 1.00 (06/28/01) [172k] Initial release ============================================================================= II. STORY ============================================================================= (from the game box) An NES game based on those two bodacious dudes of movie fame? Excellent!! History has been all screwed up and only the San Dimas Duo can set things straight. Awesome responsibility, man. Ride the Power Phone Booth to six different worlds. Galactic, man. Search for famous Historical Dudes through space and time. Most Cosmic. Talk with the likes of Julius Caesar (he invented Caesar Salad) and Napoleon (the short, dead dude). Send them back in time or you'll miss the Wyld Stallyns concert -- starring you! Heavy. It's a bodacious, mind-boggling role-playing adventure. And your only chance to save the world and earn the respect you deserve. No way -- yes way! A MOST EXCELLENT ROLE-PLAYING ADVENTURE! (story according to me) Basically, you play as either Bill or Ted and run around (aimlessly) through 6 different levels (12 worlds altogether) looking for one of 4 possible historical "baits". After you collect them, you must search around and around until you find the historical dude which is randomly determined each time you play the game. Oh yeah, you'll have to dodge the crazed locals who are out to get you. That and avoiding landing on your butt which will happen VERY frequently. ============================================================================= III. CONTROLS ============================================================================= Up : move Bill/Ted up (north) move red circle up (in Circuits of Time) close person's message window without any further conversation make phone booth take the top exit (circuit of time only) accelerate horse/canoe (Medieval World only) Down : move Bill/Ted down (south) move red circle down (in Circuits of Time) close person's message window without any further conversation decelerate horse/canoe (Medieval World only) Left : move Bill/Ted left (west) move red circle left (Circuits of Time) close person's message window without any further conversation move horse/canoe left (Medieval World only) Right : move Bill/Ted right (east) move red circle right (Circuits of Time) close person's message window without any further conversation move horse/canoe right (Medieval World only) B : use selected good stuff reply with current message during conversations close person's current message window with further conversation afterwards cancel number on numpad A : jump shoot phone booth from circle (Circuits of Time) cycle through your reply messages during conversations close person's current message window with further conversation afterwards select number on numpad Select : open/close item screen switch between phonebook/numpad Start : open/close item screen Up + A : access numpad from inventory screen ============================================================================= IV. GAMEPLAY ============================================================================= The objective in the game is to control either Bill or Ted and rescue 1 of 16 possible historical dudes in each world. There are 6 different worlds so you'll rescue a total of 6 people...or so you think. You'll rescue 1 person in level 1 and level 2. You rescue 2 people in levels 3 and 4. Finally, you rescue 3 people in levels 5 and 6. Obviously, that is a total of 12 people so you'll replay several worlds more than once. Now to find the historical dudes, you'll search each world for 4 items called "baits" to lure out the historical dude (ie. fortune cookie to Confucius). Then you'll need to find the historical dude and give him/her the correct bait. You do NOT need to find all 4 baits. Just finding the correct one will lure out the historical dude. To find the bait/dude, you'll have to use clues given to you by the locals. You begin the game with a limited number of shiny coins, 8 skeleton keys, 8 pudding, 8 firecrackers, 4 highly dangerous textbooks, and 4 cassette tapes. These items are known as "good stuff." Use them to avoid getting caught by the locals. If you get caught, you'll be sent to jail where you'll need a key to get out. Run out of keys and the game is over. The trick is to collect more items from the locals so you stay alive. Before each world can be entered, you must pass the Circuits of Time. It's just a bunch of pipes where you must fling the phone booth across the digits of the phone number. Then you'll enter each world. At the end of each world, you'll need to cross the Circuits of Time again. Starting with level 3 and beyond, the last digit of the number you are dialing will be missing. You'll need to shoot the phone booth to one of 2 pink skulls at the far right side. The correct pink skull will change into the final digit. As you progress farther in the game, more white skulls will be present in the Circuits of Time which make it harder to save money. After coming back from the Circuits of Time, you'll be treated to your concert performance. With each world completed, Wyld Stallyns grows larger and larger. ============================================================================= V. ITEMS, PEOPLE, HISTORICAL DUDE-BAIT LIST ============================================================================= People ====== Here are all the people associated with the game. Main Characters --------------- Bill S. Preston, Esquire One half of the band Wyld Stallyns and one of the two heroes. Ted Theodore Logan Other half of the band Wyld Stallyns and the other hero. Rufus The most excellent shade sporting dude from the future who aids our heroes with coins and the all important time traveling phone booth. Rebels The most heinous dudes who have placed history's famous people in the wrong time periods to force our heroes to miss the concert that will launch their careers. *Note* you NEVER once see who they are in the game. Historical Dudes ---------------- Cleopatra (555-9509) Ancient queen of Egypt. Confucius (555-6362) Ancient Chinese philosopher. King Arthur (555-1377) King of Camelot. Christopher Columbus (555-1492) Explorer who discovered America. Paul Revere (555-0864) Hero during the US Revolutionary War. Jesse James (555-1849) Outlaw during the US Gold Rush of 1849. Al Capone (555-7734) Notorious gangster of the 1930s. Elvis (555-3345) The "King" of rock & roll. Julius Caesar (555-1234) Emperor of Rome. Robin Hood (555-3643) Bandit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Rembrandt (555-8862) Famous artist. William Shakespeare (555-2841) Famous playwright. George Washington (555-1776) Hero of the US Revolutionary War. Sitting Bull (555-5933) Famous Indian chief. Thomas Edison (555-9040) Famous inventor. Marilyn Monroe (555-1155) Famous model/actress of the 1950-1960s. Other Dudes ----------- Helpful Dude (HD) This person will stand around and do nothing. Walk up to them and you will get either a clue or an item. Toll Dude (TD) This person will be moving around. Do not bump into them or you will be charged a fee of 1 coin. If you do not have any coins, you will be sent to jail. Crazed Jailer Dude (CJD) This person will charge at you with arms extended. AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS. You will go to jail if you touch them. Therefore, avoid or use one of the good stuffs to get rid of them. Items ===== Good Stuff ---------- Cassette Tape The music from this tape will cause all people onscreen to start dancing for a short while. Do not touch them or you will go to jail. After the music stops, ALL people onscreen will become CJD. Use this very carefully and as the ultimate last resort. Firecracker This explosive will scare all people on screen and cause them to run away. It will also kill any person that it explodes upon. Be careful not to touch anyone who is running away or you'll go to jail. Use this along with pudding the most. Can be considered a weaker version of the highly dangerous textbook. Highly Dangerous Textbook This book will eliminate all people on the screen. It's pretty valuable so use only if the CJD have trapped you. Try to use pudding or firecrackers instead if possible. Pudding Throw this to cause all people on and off screen to run after the pudding. Be careful not to use it when no CJD are on screen. Use this most often along with the firecrackers. Shiny Coin Used to pay for phone calls in the Circuits of Time. Also used to pay locals with whom you have bumped into. If you run out of coins and bump into a local, you will be sent to jail. Skeleton Key Use this to get out of jail. If you run out of keys and are sent to jail, the game is over. Historical Dude-Bait List ========================= Bait Correct Historical Dude ------------------------------------------------ Bag-O-Money Robin Hood Book of Lawyer Stuff Al Capone Compact Disc Thomas Edison Compass Christopher Columbus Fortune Cookie Confucius Headstone Elvis Holy Grail King Arthur Lawn Chair Sitting Bull Major Credit Card Cleopatra Megaphone Paul Revere Paint Roller Rembrandt Pair of Choppers George Washington Rose Marilyn Monroe Salad Dressing Julius Caesar Stage Prop William Shakespeare Uzi Jesse James ============================================================================= VI. NPC CONVERSATIONS ============================================================================= Here are all the conversations and the clues that people give you in the game. For the regular clues, I have listed the item/person that the clue refers to. Some clues refer to an item that is near you, usually bait, but it all depends on your location when the clue was given to you. Consult the maps for further details on the item/clue's whereabouts. For the non-player characters (NPC), I first list the NPC's greeting. Then I list their inquiry message to which you can pick one of several replies. Then I list the results of the various replies. Please note that if you get an NPC angry, all the people outside the NPC's house will become crazed jailor dudes. In addition, I have made a quick flow chart of the NPC conversations. For example: aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (random tip) / -00-b-02 \ c-06 This chart means that you start at 00. That is the person's initial greeting message to you. Then you'll have several choices of responses to choose from. In this case, we have 3 choices, a, b, and c. I've labeled a to be the first response that you get to choose from and so on. Note that the game assigns numbers to each of the message replies that you choose from. I've changed them from numbers to letters so as to lessen the confusion from reading "12" as "twelve" instead of the correct "one two". Therefore, I found it easier to remember if you use "ab" instead of "12." Again, I emphasize that there are no actual letters for each response to choose from in the game itself. I merely assigned them letters for ease of reference. See the full messages below each chart for more detail. Anyway, if we pick a as the response, the NPC will reply with message 01 (again, I have assigned it according to the order they appear). Then you will have to choose from 2 different responses aa or ab. As you can see, I've merely prefixed the letter a before aa and ab so as to let you know that you picked a first from the 3 previous choices. Continuing with our example, if I pick b after picking a from the previous 3 choices, then I'll get response 03 as a result of selecting ab. In other words, I picked the first reply choice of 3 possible in the first round followed by the 2nd one of 2 possible in the second round. I've labeled the final responses with their respective results. Medieval World - regular clues ============================== refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Check the rock at the end of the river. bait Look for something strange by a tree near the stable. bait Look for something strange at the last fence. firecracker There are magic powder sticks in a corral near the crossroads. historical dude ___ has taken refuge in the lord's castle. historical dude ___ is around here somewhere. historical dude I last saw ___ heading east. historical dude I last saw ___ heading north. historical dude I last saw ___ heading south. historical dude I last saw ___ heading west. historical dude You will find ___ in a house in the village. pudding There are sweets hidden near Miss Fifi's house. pudding You can always find something at the four rocks. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. (random) There's something strange nearby. (random) I've heard something strange can be found back east. (random) I've heard something strange can be found down south. (random) I've heard something strange can be found out west. (random) I've heard something strange can be found up north. textbook Peasants hide strange objects in a corral near the crossroads. Medieval World - NPC conversation ================================= Jester's Bar and Grill's Bartender Knight Miss Fifi Peasant Babe Ted (or Bill) Town Crier Jester's Bar and Grill's Bartender ---------------------------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / \ | ac-04 (nothing) | | ba-06 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (CJD) | \ | bc-08 (CJD) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-11 (CJD) \ cc-12 (nothing) Your replies (a) Well, my good medieval dude, some friendly advice would suffice. (b) A frosty root beer would be most excellent! (c) I am faced with a most heinous problem if I order your excellent fare, my good dude. (aa) Where might I find the most legendary ___? (ab) How might I fend off the most highly aggressive peasants? (ac) Do you know where the local bodacious babes hang out? (ba) What's grub, my good royal dude? (bb) Bogus! I think I'll take my business elsewhere, you most ugly peasantly dude! (bc) Well, grog sounds safe enough, my good peasantly dude. (ca) I must first collect the monies owed to me by ___ if I am to pay thee! (cb) I have no coinage to spare, but would gladly consume on credit, my beneficent host. (cc) I am afraid that I have left my ID card at home in San Dimas. Bartender's replies (00) Welcome to the Jester's Bar and Grill, laddie. What kin I git fer ya? (01) That would depend on what advice ye seek. (02) You think that ___ would show up in a dump like this? Be gone... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Oh, you mean my patrons? I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (04) Have ye been to Miss Fifi's yet? That's where I go. (05) Look, stranger, we only serve two things here, grog and grub! (06) Last week's grog! Now get out... And if you must be so obnoxious, then I have a suggestion... (07) What did you call me?! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (08) Safe enough! Why nobody's died of my grog in at least a week! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (09) And what would that problem be, Master Ted? (10) Well, be that yer only problem? (11) What?! No money?! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (12) No ID, no grog, dude. The law is the law. Knight ------ quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 / a-01-ab-nothing / \ | ac-03 (random tip) | | ba-05 (CJD) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (CJD) | \ | bc-07 (random tip) \ c-08 (CJD) Your replies (a) If you're a knight, dude, where is your most shiny tin suit? (b) My most mighty knightly dude, I come from Nottingham, which shall fall without your help. (c) Dude, the stench in here is most rank. Haven't you ever heard of soap? (aa) Please, most mighty knightly dude, spare my lowly life and I will not bother thee again. (ab) I think that I have entered the wrong house. I am most sorry to disturb you. Party on, dude! (ac) Listen up, dude. I am the Mighty Wizard Ted of San Dimas. Show me to ___ before I turn thee into a most lowly toad. (ba) If you could accompany me in my quest for ___, Sherwood Forest could perhaps be saved. (bb) If you could help me to kidnap the princesses from the royal ugly dudes, I am sure that things would improve! (bc) Dude, we could certainly use some fine weapons with which to thwart the enemy. Knight's replies (00) Halt! Who enters me home! Does't thou not know I am the most feared knight in the kingdom?! (01) Know that I need not mine armor to slay a minor annoyance such as thee! What service do you seek... Speak quickly. (02) I would hate to dull my sword on the likes of you. Be gone... And do be careful on thy way out. (03) Forgive me, most excellent one. I did not recognize thee in this light. (04) How may I assist thy fairest of shires? (05) Alas, I would like to help, but if thou hast been through our streets, then thou knowest that we, too, are plagued with violence and unrest... And do be careful on thy way out. (06) The royal ugly dudes to whom you refer, sir, are my brothers. I suggest that you go take your chances in our streets. (07) (08) Insolent worm! Get out of my home before I reduce thee to scraps of flesh... And do be careful on thy way out. Miss Fifi --------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (random tip) | | baa-02 (CJD) | / | ba-06-bab-07 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-02 (CJD) | | ca-09 (CJD) \ / c-08-cb-10 (nothing) \ cc-11 (CJD) Your replies (a) What?! No way, Miss Fifi. You see my luck hasn't been so good lately. (b) Greetings, Miss Fifi, I am Ted of San Dimas, and I am on a most highly specific quest. (c) Whoa, How did I get here again? (aa) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I come in search of ___. (ab) Excuse me Miss Fifi, but I think I'd better be going. (ac) I don't know. (ba) Well, actually, I must find ___ before my time here runs out. (bb) Fame, fortune, and a highly excellent video, Miss Fifi! (baa) The fuzz? No way, Miss Fifi. (bab) Oh sure, Miss Fifi, do I look like a cop? (ca) No way, Miss Fifi. I told you, I'm saving my money for an Iron Maiden CD. (cb) Bogus! I knew I forgot something! (cc) Oh, that's right. Now I remember you. Miss Fifi's replies (00) Velcome, handsome, to Miss Fifi's Saloon and Bingo Parlor! Ve have zee finest games of chance gathered from all parts of zee continent. And zo, handsome, vitch game would you like to play? (01) Vell zen, vat are you doing here at Miss Fifi's? (02) Vell zen, be gone. I do not need any more intrigue here... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Au revoir, Monsieur Ted. And do return ven you have more time and money. (04) Vell, maybe this will improve your luck. (05) Ah, yes, many of my visitors are desperately searching for something special. Vat do you seek, handsome? (06) And vat do you vant with ___? Are you vith zee police? (07) Vell, officer, since your boys do not bother my business, I suppose that I could offer you some help. . (08) Ah, Monsieur Ted, how very nice to see you again! Did you remember to bring your wallet with you this time? (09) Vell, zen do not come back to my house again, Monsieur Ted... And do be careful on your vay out. (10) Vell, ven you get it, do come back and play at Miss Fifi's. (11) Get out of my house now, before I summon zee captain of the guard from zee gaming room... And do be careful on zee way out. Peasant Babe ------------ quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / | | | aca-05 (random tip) | \ / | ac-04-acb-06 (CJD) | \ | acc-06 (CJD) | | ba-06 (CJD) | / -00-b-07-bb-08 (random tip) | \ | bc-06 (CJD) \ c-06 (CJD) Your replies (a) Whoa, are you a medieval peasant babe? (b) Whoa babe, mellow out. Tis merely Ted of San Dimas, lost in this most medieval of worlds. (c) At home, my excellent babe, I am known as the most eligible bachelor in San Dimas. (aa) Greetings, bodacious peasant babe, I am Ted of San Dimas! (ab) Greetings, I am Ted of San Dimas. I mean no harm but have merely lost my way. (ac) What's a bodacious babe such as yourself doing in such a most backwards place as this? (aca) Well, to be frank, the tumultuous tenants of this fine shire could behave more hospitably. (acb) With babes like you, what's not to like fair maiden? (acc) Whoa, you a most triumphant vision. (ba) Accompany me to the San Dimas High Prom, where we will have a most triumphant time? (bb) Perhaps you have seen ___ passing this way? (bc) How about your number, my most excellent vision of medieval beauty? Peasant's replies (00) Help! Who spies on me? (01) And who wants to know? (02) I'm sorry, but if I talk to a stranger, my father will have the man killed... And do be careful on thy way out. (03) Oh, come on Master Ted, do thee think that I was born yesterday? That line is more stale than thy breath... And do be careful on thy way out. (04) This shire does not please thee, Master Ted? (05) Perhaps this will help. (06) You had better hope that my husband, the ogre, has not overheard you. He's very jealous... And do be careful on thy way out. (07) And what do ye wish of me, a peasant maiden, Master Ted? (08) In fact, I have just seen ___. Now please leave me in peace. Ted --- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) a-01 (nothing) / | ba-03 (nothing) | / -00-b-02-bb-04 (nothing) | \ | bc-05 (random tip) | | ca-07 (random tip) \ / c-06-cb-08 (nothing) \ cc-09 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (b) Whoa, it's me! No way! (c) Hey, Ted, this is most excellent. Party on, self! (ba) The most elusive ___? (bb) The answers for the upcoming history exam? (bc) Could you lend me a few dollars? I'll pay you back! (ca) Well, Ted, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (cb) I could really use a few hints for this most perilous game! (cc) The local dudes have been most unfriendly. Ted's replies (00) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (01) If you don't know, then I certainly don't, dude. (02) Yes way, Ted. What do you seek here in this most medieval of worlds? (03) Wake up Ted! If you don't know where ___ is, then how do you expect me to know?... And do be careful on your way out, dude. (04) Wrong adventure, dude... Keep your mind on your current problems. (05) No, but I can give you a tip... (06) Yes, my most excellent self, this is most triumphant. Can I be of any help? (07) Is that all? No problem, dude. (08) Well, dude, if you could figure out which questions to ask, then perhaps you would be more successful. (09) Well you'll just have to be more careful, now won't you? Town Crier ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-nothing / \ | ac-03 (jail) | | ba-05 (jail) | / -00-b-04-bb-05 (jail) | \ | bc-06 (random tip) | | ca-08 (CJD) \ / c-07-cb-09 (CJD) \ cc-10 (random tip) Your replies (a) Hey, mellow out dude. The door was open. (b) Hey dude, there's no reason to get all weepy, no matter how non- triumphant times may seem. (c) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have traveled long and far in search of ___. (aa) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have come in search of ___. (ab) Well, excuse me for asking! Ciao, dude! (ac) I thought that perhaps I could find shelter here from the most acrimonious locals. (ba) You said you're the town's crier, right? (bb) I don't know dude, what are you talking about? (bc) Listen dude, I need a place to hide from the most highly antagonistic local dudes. (ca) Dude... The world... It's like round. (cb) If you chew a Wintergreen Mint in the dark, you get these excellent sparks in your mouth. (cc) The walrus was Paul?! Town Crier's replies (00) What are ye doing in my chambers?! Even the town crier deserves some privacy! (01) Insolent youth, what do ye want of me? (02) I am the town crier, not the town snitch. Perhaps ___ does not wish to be found by you, stranger. (03) Those locals are my friends. If they are after you, then I am sure they have good reason. Perhaps a trip to the jailer will straighten all of this out, yes? (04) What are you talking about? (05) You are even more ignorant than I had imagined. Perhaps a trip to the gallows will wise ye up... And be careful on thy way out. (06) Well, my son, I can not offer you shelter, but perhaps I can impart a piece of valuable information... (07) Ah, you have traveled from lands afar? Perhaps we can swap information. I deal in news from afar. What gossip can you offer me in return for news of ___? (08) What kind of fool do ye take me for? Get out before I have thee thrown out... And do be careful on your way out. (09) Every idiot knows that! Get out before I have you thrown out... And do be careful on your way out. (10) Now that is a exactly the sort of tidbit that the townsfolk around here enjoy. I suppose that I do owe you something of value for that. Western World - regular clues ============================= refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Look for something strange in an indian teepee. bait Something strange can be found near a crossroad. bait Something strange is hidden near the sheriff's office. historical dude ___ is around here somewhere. historical dude ___ is in a house with a horse trough. historical dude I believe ___ is in a house facing south. historical dude I last saw ___ heading north. historical dude I last saw ___ near a crossroad. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey, look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. pudding You can always find something at the four rocks. textbook Watch for the 3 threes. ?? Traders bury valuables near fences. ?? There's an indian back east who might help you. ?? Something strange is buried by the first fence. ?? I've heard something strange can be found down south. ?? I've heard something strange can be found out west. ?? There's something strange nearby. Western World - NPC conversation ================================ Bill (or Ted) Card Dealer Cowboy Marshal Mexican Trader Dan Bill ---- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (nothing) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (random tip) | -00-b-05 (nothing) | | ca-07 (random tip) \ / c-06-cb-08 (CJD) \ cc-09 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Bill, what am I doing here? (b) Excellent, dude! What are you doing here?! (c) Whoa, how do I know that you're not the most evil android version of my excellent self? (aa) Well, Bill, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (ab) Where's the action, dude?! (ac) The local vandals are causing me to have a most heinous time here. (ca) Okay, if you're me, in the future, then where was ___ when you were me here? (cb) Okay, what is Missy's favorite number? (cc) Okay, if you're me in the future, do I ever win this game? Bill's replies (00) Whoa, Bill, what am I doing here? (01) I suspect, my most excellent self, that I need some assistance here in this most wild of western worlds. (02) Duh, Bill, if you don't know where he is, then how do you expect me to know? (03) Have you tried Miss Fifi's? But don't waste all your change on the arcade machines, dude. (04) (05) Playing Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure II - The Sequel. Sorry that I don't have time to help you. (06) Why don't you test me? (07) Most simple, my good man. (08) Shut up Bill! (09) Do you really think that this stupid character can answer that question for you? Card Dealer ----------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaaa-nothing / aaa-03-aaab-04 (CJD) / aa-02-aab-04 (CJD) / a-01-ab-04 (CJD) / \ | ac-05 (random tip) | | ba-07 (CJD) | / -00-b-06-bb-08 (CJD) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-04 (CJD) \ cc-nothing Your replies (a) Cards? Excellent. I must warn you that I am the San Dimas King of Hearts. (b) Dude, a game of cards would be most excellent, but I am on a most vital quest. I must find ___. (c) Cards?! Most triumphant. Can you change a quarter? (aa) Radical dude! Deal away. (ab) Stud? Excellent! That's me, dude! (ac) I would love to play, but I am on a most important quest to find ___. (aaa) Hey dude, even I know that gambling is most uncool. (aab) What? (aaaa) Hey dude, there's no need for violence. I know when to leave. (aaab) Mend your ways, dude. You're too uptight. (ba) I have come from the future to bring news of a most excellent concert. (bb) I bear most triumphant news from San Dimas. (ca) Okay cow-dude, I can take a hint. (cb) You don't have to get all beastly. (cc) I detect a note of sarcasm so I shall depart, cow-dude. Card Dealer's replies (00) Hey pardner, can I interest you in a little game of cards? (01) Have a seat, sucker, uh, friend. How's about a friendly hand of stud? (02) Have a seat and throw your money onto the table. (03) Maybe you'd prefer a little showdown? (04) What do you think this is, a kiddie game? Why don't you just show yourself out, and be careful out there. This can be a tough town. (05) (06) What do you want with ___ and what makes you think that ___ will want to see you? (07) The future, huh kid? I don't think that I wanna play cards with someone as plum loco as you. Maybe you'd just better go. (08) San Dimas? Another Mexican spy, eh? I think you'd better vamoose before the deputy catches up with you. (09) Why don't you go get your momma and come back to play tomorrow. (10) A hint? How about this... Cowboy ------ quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaa-03 (CJD) / a-01-aa-02-aab-04 (random tip) / \ | aac-03 (CJD) | -00 baa-03 (CJD) | / | ba-06-bab-07 (nothing) | / \ | | bac-08 (random tip) \ | b-05-bb-03 (CJD) \ bc-09 (nothing) Your replies (a) Excellent. Someone who speaks English. (b) Greetings, cow-dude. I am Bill from San Dimas. I come in search of ___. (aa) Oh, you're a cow-dude. No offense, cow-dude, but my sophistication seems to confuse your fellow cow-folks. (aaa) Thanks. (aab) Mister cow-dude, I didn't mean to offend. My most humble apologies. (aac) I know. (ba) Sticks and stones may break my bones, cow-dude, but names will never hurt me. (bb) Hey, there's no reason to use discouraging words, Mister cow-dude! (bc) Hey, Mister cow-dude, I think I'd better go now! (baa) Look, dude, it's Halley's Comet! (bab) Nothing, Mister cow-dude. (bac) The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains? Cowboy's replies (00) Where do you think you're going, dude? (01) The only one talking funny around here seems to be you, dude. (02) Sophisti-who? Dude, where do you get off talking funny about the folks round here? Seems to me you're the only horse of a different color that I've seen lately. (03) Dude, I think you'd better get going before I get angry... And be careful on your way out. (04) Well, you seem like a good enough dude. If you're having that much trouble, then I have a suggestion for you. (05) And what business does the likes of you have with ___, pip squeak? (06) What did you say, lil' squirt? (07) That's better kid. I'll be seeing you. (08) Ah, a cowboy poet! I think I can help you. (09) I think that's a good idea. Marshal ------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (jail) / a-01-ab-02 (jail) / \ | ac-03 (jail) -00 | ba-05 (CJD) \ / b-04-bb-06 (random tip) \ bc-07 (random tip) Your replies (a) Dude, the way that we have treated Native Americans is most non- triumphant! (b) Excellent, dude! Cowboys and Indians?! Count me in! (aa) Dude, remember the golden rule - be excellent to each other. (ab) Dude, violence never pays. (ac) I just do not think that we should treate Native Americans in this most bogus way. (ba) Before I can enlist, good captainly dude, I must find ___! (bb) Look dude, the way that I've been treated around here, I have little interest in fighting to defend these people. (bc) I'd love to sign up, but ___ has my pen. Marshal's replies (00) Excellent! Another recruit for Fort Ticonderoga?! We need you to help fight off these Indians. (01) What are you saying, boy? Are you some sort of Indian lover? (02) A pacifist, eh? Well maybe a night in the stockade will help you to see things differently. (03) Native Americans? Boy, that's exactly who we are protecting, Americans! Maybe a night in the stockade will help you to think about this. (04) Well, just sign here, sonny, and you'll be elevated immediately to the rank of Private in our fine army! (05) But of course, Private, right after you enlist we can talk about a leave... In a year or two. (06) The locals have been giving you trouble? May I make a suggestion? (07) Well if you promise to come back right away, I'll let you in on a little secret. Mexican ------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) a-01 (jail) / | ba-03 (jail) | / -00-b-02-bb-04 (CJD) | \ | bc-05 (random tip) | | ca-07 (CJD) \ / c-06-cb-08 (random tip) Your replies (a) Hey amigo-dude, no way will I part with the excellent threads. (b) Burritos? Excellent, amigo-dude! I am most hungry. (c) Tell me where ___ is and I will bring you many highly excellent things from the Galeria. (ba) Donkeys? Don't make me laugh, amigo-dude. (bb) Sorry dude, but I have an excellent mountain bike at home. (bc) Come off it senor Mexican dude! What would I do with donkeys? (ca) Well, I'm sure it was an accident. (cb) ___ must be executed for the most heinous of crimes. Mexican's replies (00) Hey senor, I like your shirt very much. Maybe you will trade it for my two burros? (01) Perhaps you will prefer to trade after a night in the local jail, si? (02) No burritos these, senor. these are full grown burros. You may get many meals from these fine animals. (03) Perhaps you will not laugh so hard after a night in the local jail, si? (04) Have it your way, senor, but others may not be so generous. Good luck... And be careful on the way out. (05) Perhaps I could offer you something else. Perhaps you would be interested in this - Most excellent news, amigo-dude. I'll bring you a shirt from the Galeria! (06) You seek ___? So do I, senor. ___ killed my brother. (07) So I take it you are a friend? You had better go before I just shoot your lights out and take the shirt... And be careful on the way out. (08) Trader Dan ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaa-03 (CJD) / aa-02-aab-04 (random tip) / a-01-ab-05 (CJD) / \ | ac-06 (CJD) | | ba-08 (CJD) | / -00-b-07-bb-09 (random tip) | \ | bc-nothing | | ca-11 (CJD) \ / c-10-cb-11 (CJD) \ cc-11 (CJD) Your replies (a) Trader Dan, I am Bill of San Dimas and I have traveled far in search of ___. (b) Your guns are very fine indeed, Mister Dan, but I cannot use them to help me to vanquish the most angry locals. (c) Trader Dan?! Haven't our paths converged before? (aa) Trader Dan, I don't think that you understand. (ab) Frater-what? (ac) Trader Dan, if I am unable to find ___, then I will have no use for this fine firearm. (aaa) Listen dude, I have neither the money nor the inclination to buy this most magnificent musket. (aab) Dan, dude, can we talk? If I can find ___, I will have the money to buy an even bigger gun, maybe even a cannon. (ba) Gee, Trader Dan, will you accept my dad's charge card? (bb) But I am unable to garner wages while being pursued by these most combative dudez. (bc) Trader Dan, I shall ignore that request and leave. And remember the first golden rule - Be excellent to each other. (ca) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me a broken down chariot in Ancient World?! (cb) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me an Edsel in Modern World?! (cc) No way, I know. You tried to sell me some broken down old horse in Colonial World! Trader Dan's replies (00) You say you need a gun? Friend, you've come to the right place. Trader Dan is the name, large guns and ammo the game. (01) Well, son, ___ is surrounded by security like any celebrity. The only way you can fraternize with ___ is with an invitation... Or with massive firepower. (02) Of course I do. I know, you're worried that you won't be able to pay for such an impressive piece. Don't worry. Lease it. (03) No money down? Maybe I'd better show you something else... Like the door... And do be careful on your way out. (04) Well, well, well, why didn't you just come out and say so? Come back soon now, ya hear? (05) You know, consort, mingle, mix, socialize, hobnob. I've obviously misjudged you... And do be careful on your way out. (06) Wait a minute, kid. Yer looking to kill ___ with a pistol purchased in my little emporium? Maybe you'd better leave now... And do be careful on yer way out. (07) Having trouble with the locals, eh? Well, for a price, perhaps your old friend Dan can to help you. (08) Credit?! I don't even know you! Get out of my store now. (09) Money? Now you're talking my language, kid. And remember, it was Trader Dan who told you. Come back soon now, ya hear? (10) Why sure, kid, didn't we serve side by side, shoulder to shoulder, at the Alamo? (11) I don't know what you're talking about kid. Now get out of here before I call the cops. Colonial World - regular clues ============================== refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Something strange can be found near a crossroad. bait Something strange is in a south bush in the northwest. bait There's something strange between the rock and the bush. firecracker Minutemen hide munitions south of town. historical dude ___ is around here somewhere. historical dude ___ is in a brick house historical dude I last saw ___ heading north. historical dude I last saw ___ near a crossroad. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey, look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. pudding The colonists store belongings in two-rock corrals. pudding You can always find something at the four rocks. random There's something strange nearby. tape Check around the double fence. ?? I've heard something strange can be found out west. Colonial World - NPC conversation ================================= Green Minuteman Metalsmith's Son Miss Fifi Tax Collector Ted (or Bill) Trader Dan Green Minuteman --------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (random tip) / \ | ac-02 (CJD) | | ba-05 (CJD) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (random tip) | \ c-02 (CJD) Your replies (a) I just seek shelter from the most ornery locals, my good minute-manly dude! (b) Greetings muskadude. I am Ted of San Dimas, and I seek ___. (c) Listen dude, I am growing most weary of the locals' hostility in this game. (aa) You mean Prince? His music jams but he's not the most masculine guy, if you know what I mean. (ab) Hey dude, this is America, land of the free! (ac) The king? He's alright, but I wouldn't lend him any of my records. Know what I mean? (ba) I bring news from a most bodacious babe abroad! (bb) I bear urgent news of the enemy? Green Minuteman's replies (00) Halt! Where do ye think that ye are going? (01) And are ye friend or foe of His Majesty? (02) I think that ye know not where ye are. Perhaps it would be best if ye left by the way ye entered... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Ah, so you are one of us. If ye seek to thwart the redcoats and royalists, know this... (04) And what do you want with ___? Are ye friend of foe? (05) Ah, from England? Perhaps it would be best if ye left by the way ye entered... And do be careful on your way out. (06) Well, why didn't you say so? Metalsmith's son ---------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (random tip) / \ | ac-02 (CJD) | -00-b-02 (CJD) | | ca-05 (random tip) \ / c-04-cb-02 (CJD) \ cb-02 (CJD) Your replies (a) Sure dude, what can I do to help you in your most bogus plight? (b) Sorry dude, but I have no time for kid's play. (c) That bell looks pretty bad, dude. (aa) Gee dude, I don't really know a lot about bells. (ab) Well, dude, why don't you just turn it around? (ac) Dude, that bell is spent. I'd make for the hills before you dad gets home. (ca) No problem, dude. Use bubble gum. It worked great when I fixed the antenna on the phone booth. (cb) Sorry dude, but, in my humble opinion, you're terminated. (cc) Let me offer some advice, little dude. Blame it on somebody else... Like your sister. Metalsmith's son's replies (00) Sir, I beg you. Please help me before my father the Metal Smith comes back to see what I have done. (01) Well, I was cleaning the town bell for my father when, well, I seemed to have cracked it. (02) Oh no. I hear my father coming. You'd better go... And be ye careful on your way out. (03) Of course! You have saved me from untold suffering. Let me do something for you. (04) Please! I will do anything for you. My father will kill me if he sees this. (05) A million thanks, Master Ted. Allow me to help you now. Miss Fifi --------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (random tip) / \ | ac-04 (CJD) | | ba-06 (CJD) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (CJD) | \ | bc-08 (random tip) \ c-09 (nothing) Your replies (a) Greetings, Miss Fifi. I am Ted of San Dimas. (b) Bonjour, Miss Fifi. I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have come long and far in search of ___. (c) Miss Fifi, I would love to find ___ here in your fine saloon. (aa) Well, a little arcade action would be most welcome. Could you loan me a quarter? (ab) Gee, Miss Fifi, I would love to play your games, but I have to retrieve the money that I loaned to ___ first. (ac) Miss Fifi, do you take Visa? (ba) Well, it seems like I've seen everybody entering or leaving your most excellent rumpus room. (bb) To tell the truth, Miss Fifi, it was just a guess. (bc) Well, actually, I was running from the petulant natives when I found your open door. Miss Fifi's replies (00) Velcome, my handsome young man, to Miss Fifi's Saloon and Bingo Parlor. We offer zee finest in gaming pleasures right here in zee colonies. (01) Vell, Mister Ted, zat is very nice, but vat is it zat I can do for you on zis fine afternoon? (02) Vat, you vant to go to play for free? Get out of here before I sick zee colonial guard on you... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Vell, Now ven you get zee money, be sure to return to Miss Fifi. Our tables will be waiting for you. (04) Vat do you mean?! You vant to see my visa?! Even zee governor plays here regularly. Now leave my place... And do be careful on your way out. (05) And vat makes you think zat you can find ___ here, Monsieur Ted? Are you with zee police? (06) Zo, you have been watching Miss Fifi's, eh? I think zat perhaps you should get out of here, before I sick zee colonial guard on you.. And do be careful on your way out. (07) Vell, I guess zat you should perhaps get out of here, before I sick zee colonial guard on you... And do be careful on your way out. (08) Vell, my poor thing, vy didn't you tell Miss Fifi or this sooner? (09) Meester Ted, I am afraid zat ve have not seen your friend here. Perhaps you should talk to Monsieur Dan, down zee street. Tax Collector ------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (nothing) / a-01-ab-02 (nothing) / \ | ac-02 (nothing) | -00-b-02 (nothing) | | ca-04 (random tip) \ / c-03-cb-05 (jail) \ cc-06 (random tip) Your replies (a) I don't have any taxes records, dude, but I'd love to check them out. (b) Hey dude, I'm underage and I don't have a job. Sue me! (c) My good money grubbing dude, I come representing the king on a most holy quest. (aa) Dude, I come from San Dimas of the excellent USA. I pay taxes to no king. I pay Uncle Sam! (ab) What are you talking about?! (ac) Whoa, you're an English dude, aren't you? Do you know Jimmy Page? (ca) His royalness seeks the whereabouts of that scoundrel, ___. (cb) His royal kingliness requests that you cease and desist with this most bogus taxation. (cc) H. M. has sent me in search of arms with which his troops may battle the rabble! Tax Collector's replies (00) Welcome, m'lad. I trust that ye have brought yer receipts and tax records with you. (01) What are you talking about, you idiot? In my office, thou pays thy taxes to the king. I hope that thou hast come prepared! (02) A rebel, are we? Perhaps you will see things differently after a stay at ye olde jailhouse. (03) An agent of the king? Why didn't ye make that clear! In what way may I assist His Highness? (04) But of course. ___ is the scourge of the monarchy. (05) Imposter. Perhaps you will see things differently after a stay at ye olde jailhouse. (06) Ted --- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (nothing) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (nothing) | | ba-06 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (nothing) | \ | bc-08 (nothing) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-11 (nothing) \ cc-12 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (b) Excellent! I love when this happens! Greetings Ted! (c) Whoa, how do I know that you're not the most evil android version of my excellent self? (aa) Well, Ted, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (ab) I could really use a good cheat for this game. (ac) The local dudes are most pugnacious. What should I do? (ba) If you're me, then why don't you tell me? (bb) I don't know. (bc) Could you lend me a little dinero? (ca) Okay, what did I do to thwart the local vandals? (cb) What happened to me and Bill in our excellent sequel? (cc) What number am I thinking of? Ted's replies (00) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (01) I suspect, my most excellent self, that I need some information! How can I help me? (02) Duh, Ted, if you don't know where he is, then how do you expect me to know? (nothing) (03) Sorry, dude, but I am far too busy playing Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure II - The Sequel. Good luck, dude! (04) Avoid them?! ... Did you really expect the game to be that easy? (05) Greetings, my excellent self. What do I seek here in this most triumphant of video games? (06) Alright, smarty. You seek ___. (07) Ah, Ted, when will I ever learn?! Oh well, keep trying self. (08) No way, dude. How many times do I have to tell myself! Never a borrower or a lender be! (09) Go ahead, ask me about anything that we know. (10) Easy dude! (11) The answer to that question will be 7 dollars, please, payable at your local theater. (12) Didn't you already ask me that? Trader Dan ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaa-03 (CJD) / aa-02-aab-04 (random tip) / a-01-ab-05 (CJD) / \ | ac-04 (random tip) | | ba-07 (CJD) | / -00-b-06-bb-08 (random tip) | \ | bc-nothing | | ca-10 (CJD) \ / c-09-cb-10 (CJD) \ cc-10 (CJD) Your replies (a) Trader Dan, I am Ted of San Dimas and I have traveled far in search of ___. (b) Your horse is very fine indeed, Mister Dan, but I am afraid that it will not help me vanquish the most angry locals. (c) Trader Dan?! Haven't our paths converged before? (aa) Trader Dan, I don't think that you understand. (ab) Frater-what? (ac) Trader Dan, if I am unable to find ___, then I will have no use for this fine creature. (aaa) Listen dude, I have neither the money nor the inclination to buy this most withered beast. (aab) Dan, dude, can we talk? If I can find ___, I will have the money to buy a horse of even higher breeding... And cost. (ba) Gee, Trader Dan, will you accept my dad's charge card? (bb) But I am unable to garner wages while being pursued by these most combative dudez. (bc) Trader Dan, I shall ignore that request and leave. And remember the first golden rule - be excellent to each other. (ca) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me a broken down chariot in Ancient World?! (cb) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me an Edsel in Modern World?! (cc) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me some bogus pistol in Western World?! Trader Dan's replies (00) You say you need a horse? Friend, you've come to the right place. Trader Dan's the name, horses the game. And just what can I get for you today? (01) You say you want to fraternize with the rich and famous? Have I got the horse for you. Just step right this way. (02) Of course I do. I know, you're worried that you won't be able to pay for such a handsome animal. Don't worry. Lease it. (03) No money down? Maybe I'd better show you something else... Like the door... And do be careful on your way out. (04) Well, well, well, why didn't you just come out and say so? Come back soon now, ya hear? (05) You know, consort, mingle, mix, socialize, hobnob. I've obviously misjudged you... And do be careful on your way out. (06) Having trouble with the locals, eh? Well, for a price, perhaps your old friend Dan can to help you. (07) Credit?! I don't even know you! Get out of my store now. (08) Money? Now you're talking my language, kid. And remember, it was Trader Dan who told you. Come back soon now, ya hear? (09) Why sure, kid, didn't we serve side by side, shoulder to shoulder, at Valley Forge? (10) I don't know what you're talking about kid. Now get out of here before I call the cops. Modern World - regular clues ============================ refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Look for something strange by a fence in the village. bait Look for something strange by a rock near the curb. historical dude I last saw ___ heading west. pudding Check around the double fence. pudding You can always find something at the four rocks. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. ?? Bums hide food near fire plugs. ?? I've heard something strange can be found down south. ?? I've heard something strange can be found out west. ?? Something strange can be found near a crossroad. ?? There's a storage place north of the river. Modern World - NPC conversation =============================== Big Al's Speakeasy's Bouncer Gangster Miss Fifi Ted (or Bill) Trader Dan US Marine Recruiter Big Al's Speakeasy's Bouncer ---------------------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / | ba-05 (random tip) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (CJD) | \ | bc-nothing | | ca-04 (CJD) \ / c-07-cb-04 (CJD) \ cc-08-cca-04 (CJD) \ ccb-nothing Your replies (a) I am Ted of San Dimas and have traveled far to find this fine establishment. (b) I merely seek refuge from the most bellicose local dudez. (c) I am most weary from my quest and seek a short respite inside! (aa) I merely seek refuge from the most bellicose local dudez! (ab) But dude, I have come far through time and space to find ___. (ba) Perhaps you could facilitate my safe passage through the local streets? (bb) Your belligerent attitude is most unbecoming! (bc) My most bogus host, I shall depart. Even I know when I am not wanted. (ca) I want my MTV? (cb) Cowabunga? (cc) Whoa, I know this one! Swordfish! (cca) Leave my arms? What? (ccb) Excellent, my most estimable host! Bouncer's replies (00) Where do you think you're going, Junior? You have business here? (01) Listen, sonny, this ain't the sort of place for a kid like you. Why don't you take a long walk? (02) Well, you ain't gonna find no refuge here kid. Why don't you just head on out by the way you came in? ... And do be careful on your way out. (03) ___? Why didn't ya say so, sonny? Why don't you step back outside and talk to the boys? They'll be able to tell you something, I'm sure. (04) Listen kid, we don't need no trouble here. Why don't you just go out by the way you came in? (05) (06) I'll see you out in the street, punk. (07) Well, why didn't you just say so? ... Of course you know the password. (08) Welcome to Big Al's Speakeasy, home of the famous Mickey Finn. Please check any arms with the coat check girl and enjoy your stay. Gangster -------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-02 (CJD) / \ | ac-02 (CJD) | -00-b-03 (CJD) | | caa-06 (CJD) | / | ca-05-cab-07 (random tip) | / \ | | cac-07 (random tip) \ | c-04-cb-08 (nothing) Your replies (a) Dude, I mean no harm. The door was ajar and I sought refuge from the most hostile locals. (b) There is no need for that firearm, dude. I am Ted of San Dimas, and I come in peace. (c) The boss sent me. (aa) Excellent! I've been carrying these around for years. (ab) No way dude! Everybody knows that the tooth fairy is a most bodacious babe! (ac) No sir, not with that gun in your hand. (ca) He wants to know where the weapons are! He thought you might know... If you want to stay alive. (cb) He said you're a dead man, dude! (caa) And why should I believe an outlaw dude such as yourself? (cab) Listen dude, we know that you know the whereabouts of ___, so start singing... Or else. (cac) You know where the weapons are so talk now or prepare to meet your maker. Gangster's replies (00) How the heck did you get in here? (01) And who do I look like, the Good Tooth Fairy? (02) Just get out of here, punk, before I decide to use this gun... And do be careful on your way out. (03) If you don't want to go in a blaze of gunfire, you'd better turn around right now and leave by the way you came in. (04) Well why didn't you say so? What does the boss want? (05) Look, I told him everything I know. You gotta believe me. (06) Because I've got the gun? Now get out of here before I stop feeling so friendly. (07) Alright, alright, just don't hurt me. (08) Thanks for the tip kid. I think I'll let you live. Miss Fifi --------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / | ba-05 (CJD) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (random tip) | | ca-08 (CJD) |\ / | c-07-cb-* | \ | cc-09 (CJD) \ d-10 (CJD) Your replies (a) Miss Fifi, I am on a most highly specific quest. (b) If you could answer a couple of questions, I would be most grateful, Miss Fifi. (c) I would love to play a game with a babe as excellent as yourself Miss Fifi, but... (d) Whoa! Miss Fifi?! Haven't I been here before?! (aa) Miss Fifi, I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have traveled far through space and time in search of ___. (ab) Everywhere I go, the indigenous dudez seem intent upon incarcerating me in a most violent manner. (ba) No way, frenchy-babe. (bb) But of course, my little french fry. (ca) But I need to find ___ before it is too late. (cb) But I cannot rest until I get the locals to stop harassing me. (cc) But I'm not in the position to risk my meager assets. Miss Fifi's replies (00) Welcome to Miss Fifi's, mon cherie, zee finest gaming house zis side of Vegas. Vat can I do for you, handsome? (01) Specific? Do not be shy, young man. We have games for all types here. Vat is it that you seek? (02) Miss Fifi does not cater to people as strange as you, Monsieur. I suggest that you leave... And do be careful on your way out. (03) You mean zay vant to arrest you? Zee police? Ve don't need trouble here, Monsieur Ted... And do be careful on your way out. (04) Are you with zee police? (05) Zen be gone before I call zem. ___ comes to play here from time to time, but zat is none of your business... And do be careful on your way out. (06) Vell, any friend of zee deputy's is a friend of mine, I suppose, but pleaze do not tell ___ who told you this. (07) But? (08) You would rather find ___ zen spend a leetle time with me? You pig! Get out of my house now! ... And do be careful on your way out. (09) No money?! Get out and don't come back, you mealy little worm. (10) Excuse me. Why don't you talk to the doorman outside... And do be careful on your way out. * The game messed up when I used this response. Can anyone confirm this? Ted --- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (nothing) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (nothing) | | ba-06 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (nothing) | \ | bc-08 (nothing) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-11 (nothing) \ cc-12 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (b) Excellent! I love when this happens! Greetings Ted! (c) Whoa, how do I know that you're not the most evil android version of my excellent self? (aa) Well, Ted, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (ab) I could really use a good cheat for this game. (ac) The local dudes are most pugnacious. What should I do? (ba) If you're me, then why don't you tell me? (bb) I don't know. (bc) Could you lend me a little dinero? (ca) Okay, what did I do to thwart the local vandals? (cb) What happened to me and Bill in our excellent sequel? (cc) What number am I thinking of? Ted's replies (00) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (01) I suspect, my most excellent self, that I need some information! How can I help me? (02) Duh, Ted, if you don't know where he is, then how do you expect me to know? (nothing) (03) Sorry, dude, but I am far too busy playing Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure II - The Sequel. Good luck, dude! (04) Avoid them?! ... Did you really expect the game to be that easy? (05) Greetings, my excellent self. What do I seek here in this most triumphant of video games? (06) Alright, smarty. You seek ___. (07) Ah, Ted, when will I ever learn?! Oh well, keep trying self. (08) No way, dude. How many times do I have to tell myself! Never a borrower or a lender be! (09) Go ahead, ask me about anything that we know. (10) Easy dude! (11) The answer to that question will be 7 dollars, please, payable at your local theater. (12) Didn't you already ask me that? Trader Dan ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaa-03 (CJD) / aa-02-aab-04 (nothing) / \ | aac-05 (CJD) | a-01-ab-06 (CJD) / \ | ac-07 (random tip) | | ba-09 (CJD) | / -00-b-08-bb-10 (random tip) | \ | bc-nothing | | ca-12 (CJD) \ / c-11-cb-12 (CJD) \ cc-12 (CJD) Your replies (a) Trader Dan, I am Ted of San Dimas and I have traveled far in search of ___. (b) Your Edsel is very fine indeed, Mister Dan, but I am afraid that it will not help me vanquish the most angry locals. (c) Trader Dan?! Haven't our paths converged before? (aa) Trader Dan, I don't think that you understand. (ab) Frater-what? (ac) Trader Dan, if I am unable to find ___, then I will have no use for this fine vehicle. (aaa) Listen dude, I have neither the money nor the inclination to buy these most questionable wheels. (aab) Dan, dude, can we talk? If I can find ___, I will have the money to buy an even more costly vehicle. (aac) But Mister Dan, dude, I don't even have a license with which to operate this fine vehicle. (ba) Gee, Trader Dan, will you accept my dad's charge card? (bb) But I am unable to garner wages while being pursued by these most combative dudez. (bc) Trader Dan, I shall ignore that request and leave. And remember the first golden rule - be excellent to each other. (ca) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me some broken down old horse in Colonial World! (cb) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me a broken down chariot in Ancient World?! (cc) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me some bogus pistol in Western World?! Trader Dan's replies (00) You need a chariot? Something snazzy? New? Used? Friend, you've come to the right place. Trader Dan's the name, fine automobiles the game. (01) Listen sonny, if you want to fraternize with the rich and famous, you have got to have the right wheels. Follow me. (02) Of course I do. I know, you're worried that you won't be able to pay for such a flashy vehicle. Don't worry. Lease it. (03) No money down? Maybe I'd better show you something else... Like the door... And do be careful on your way out. (04) Well, ___ happens to be a close personal friend of mine, so give ___ my regards and come back when you're ready to buy. (05) Listen, kid, why don't you come back when you're ready to buy. In the meantime, don't bother me... And do be careful on your way out. (06) You know, consort, mingle, mix, socialize, hobnob. I've obviously misjudged you... And do be careful on your way out. (07) Well, well, well, why didn't you just come out and say so? Come back soon now, ya hear? (08) Having trouble with the locals, eh? Well, for a price, perhaps your old friend Dan can to help you. (09) Credit?! I don't even know you! Get out of my store now. (10) Money? Now you're talking my language, kid. And remember, it was Trader Dan who told you. Come back soon now, ya hear? (11) Why sure, kid, didn't we serve side by side, shoulder to shoulder, at Angio? (12) I don't know what you're talking about kid. Now get out of here before I call the cops. US Marine Recruiter ------------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (jail) / a-01-ab-03 (jail) / \ | ac-04 (jail) | | ba-06 (jail) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (random tip) | \ | bc-08 (nothing) | | ca-06 (jail) \ / c-09-cb-06 (jail) \ cc-10 (random tip) Your replies (a) Excellent! The proud! The few! I finally get a chance to serve Uncle Sam! (b) Dude, I would love to serve my country, but first I must complete my quest. (c) No way, dude. You must put your guns down and be excellent to each other. (aa) But what about my quest for ___? (ab) Excellent, now I'll be able to overpower those nasty locals! (ac) Whoa! Wait until I tell Bill about this! (ba) To find ___ here in Modern World, my most militaristic dude? (bb) Commander Ted, of the CIA, dude. I seek ___, suspected subversive. (bc) I don't know. The most raging guitar solo on Freebird? (ca) Danke schon, dude! (cb) Dude, read your history books! Even I know that we're going to win the war! (cc) Dude, I'm having enough trouble with the pugnacious local dudes! Recruiter's replies (00) Welcome to the U.S. Marine Recruitment Center son! How long a hitch can I sign you up for? (01) That's right boy! Just sign right here and you'll soon be wearing the most prestigious uniform in the world. (02) Sorry, private, but that's all a thing of the past now... Or maybe you'd prefer a trip to the stockade? (03) I'm afraid you won't be seeing those dudes for awhile private. In fact, you'll be seeing only Fort Bragg for the next 17 years or so... Or maybe you'd prefer a trip to the stockade? (04) I'm afraid you won't be seeing Bill for awhile private. In fact, you'll be seeing Fort Bragg exclusively for the next 17 years or so... Or maybe you'd prefer a trip to the stockade? (05) And what could be more important than serving your country, soldier? (06) Well, perhaps a stay in the stockade will revive your sense of patriotism! (07) Well, commander, why didn't you say so. I do have some intelligence info on ___. (08) Good answer, private. You may exit safely, and good luck on your quest. (09) What?! And run in the face of global ruin?! Do you want to be speaking German kid? (10) Well, they are no problem, if you know what to use to fight them off. Medieval World 2 - regular clues ================================ refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Check the rock at the end of the river. bait Look for something strange by a tree near the stable. bait Look for something strange at the last fence. firecracker There are magic powder sticks in a corral near the crossroads. historical dude ___ has taken refuge in the lord's castle. historical dude ___ is around here somewhere. historical dude I last saw ___ heading east. historical dude I last saw ___ heading north. historical dude I last saw ___ heading south. historical dude I last saw ___ heading west. historical dude You will find ___ in a house in the village. pudding There are sweets hidden near Miss Fifi's house. pudding You can always find something at the four rocks. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. (random) There's something strange nearby. (random) I've heard something strange can be found back east. (random) I've heard something strange can be found down south. (random) I've heard something strange can be found out west. (random) I've heard something strange can be found up north. textbook Peasants hide strange objects in a corral near the crossroads. Medieval World 2 - NPC conversation =================================== Jester's Bar and Grill's Bartender Knight Miss Fifi Peasant Babe Ted (or Bill) Town Crier Jester's Bar and Grill's Bartender ---------------------------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / \ | ac-04 (nothing) | | ba-06 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (CJD) | \ | bc-08 (CJD) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-11 (CJD) \ cc-12 (nothing) Your replies (a) Well, my good medieval dude, some friendly advice would suffice. (b) A frosty root beer would be most excellent! (c) I am faced with a most heinous problem if I order your excellent fare, my good dude. (aa) Where might I find the most legendary ___? (ab) How might I fend off the most highly aggressive peasants? (ac) Do you know where the local bodacious babes hang out? (ba) What's grub, my good royal dude? (bb) Bogus! I think I'll take my business elsewhere, you most ugly peasantly dude! (bc) Well, grog sounds safe enough, my good peasantly dude. (ca) I must first collect the monies owed to me by ___ if I am to pay thee! (cb) I have no coinage to spare, but would gladly consume on credit, my beneficent host. (cc) I am afraid that I have left my ID card at home in San Dimas. Bartender's replies (00) Welcome to the Jester's Bar and Grill, laddie. What kin I git fer ya? (01) That would depend on what advice ye seek. (02) You think that ___ would show up in a dump like this? Be gone... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Oh, you mean my patrons? I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (04) Have ye been to Miss Fifi's yet? That's where I go. (05) Look, stranger, we only serve two things here, grog and grub! (06) Last week's grog! Now get out... And if you must be so obnoxious, then I have a suggestion... (07) What did you call me?! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (08) Safe enough! Why nobody's died of my grog in at least a week! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (09) And what would that problem be, Master Ted? (10) Well, be that yer only problem? (11) What?! No money?! I think that some of my friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good friends would like to speak with ye outside... Good luck! (12) No ID, no grog, dude. The law is the law. Knight ------ quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 / a-01-ab-nothing / \ | ac-03 (random tip) | | ba-05 (CJD) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (CJD) | \ | bc-07 (random tip) \ c-08 (CJD) Your replies (a) If you're a knight, dude, where is your most shiny tin suit? (b) My most mighty knightly dude, I come from Nottingham, which shall fall without your help. (c) Dude, the stench in here is most rank. Haven't you ever heard of soap? (aa) Please, most mighty knightly dude, spare my lowly life and I will not bother thee again. (ab) I think that I have entered the wrong house. I am most sorry to disturb you. Party on, dude! (ac) Listen up, dude. I am the Mighty Wizard Ted of San Dimas. Show me to ___ before I turn thee into a most lowly toad. (ba) If you could accompany me in my quest for ___, Sherwood Forest could perhaps be saved. (bb) If you could help me to kidnap the princesses from the royal ugly dudes, I am sure that things would improve! (bc) Dude, we could certainly use some fine weapons with which to thwart the enemy. Knight's replies (00) Halt! Who enters me home! Does't thou not know I am the most feared knight in the kingdom?! (01) Know that I need not mine armor to slay a minor annoyance such as thee! What service do you seek... Speak quickly. (02) I would hate to dull my sword on the likes of you. Be gone... And do be careful on thy way out. (03) Forgive me, most excellent one. I did not recognize thee in this light. (04) How may I assist thy fairest of shires? (05) Alas, I would like to help, but if thou hast been through our streets, then thou knowest that we, too, are plagued with violence and unrest... And do be careful on thy way out. (06) The royal ugly dudes to whom you refer, sir, are my brothers. I suggest that you go take your chances in our streets. (07) (08) Insolent worm! Get out of my home before I reduce thee to scraps of flesh... And do be careful on thy way out. Miss Fifi --------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (random tip) | | baa-02 (CJD) | / | ba-06-bab-07 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-02 (CJD) | | ca-09 (CJD) \ / c-08-cb-10 (nothing) \ cc-11 (CJD) Your replies (a) What?! No way, Miss Fifi. You see my luck hasn't been so good lately. (b) Greetings, Miss Fifi, I am Ted of San Dimas, and I am on a most highly specific quest. (c) Whoa, How did I get here again? (aa) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I come in search of ___. (ab) Excuse me Miss Fifi, but I think I'd better be going. (ac) I don't know. (ba) Well, actually, I must find ___ before my time here runs out. (bb) Fame, fortune, and a highly excellent video, Miss Fifi! (baa) The fuzz? No way, Miss Fifi. (bab) Oh sure, Miss Fifi, do I look like a cop? (ca) No way, Miss Fifi. I told you, I'm saving my money for an Iron Maiden CD. (cb) Bogus! I knew I forgot something! (cc) Oh, that's right. Now I remember you. Miss Fifi's replies (00) Velcome, handsome, to Miss Fifi's Saloon and Bingo Parlor! Ve have zee finest games of chance gathered from all parts of zee continent. And zo, handsome, vitch game would you like to play? (01) Vell zen, vat are you doing here at Miss Fifi's? (02) Vell zen, be gone. I do not need any more intrigue here... And do be careful on your way out. (03) Au revoir, Monsieur Ted. And do return ven you have more time and money. (04) Vell, maybe this will improve your luck. (05) Ah, yes, many of my visitors are desperately searching for something special. Vat do you seek, handsome? (06) And vat do you vant with ___? Are you vith zee police? (07) Vell, officer, since your boys do not bother my business, I suppose that I could offer you some help. . (08) Ah, Monsieur Ted, how very nice to see you again! Did you remember to bring your wallet with you this time? (09) Vell, zen do not come back to my house again, Monsieur Ted... And do be careful on your vay out. (10) Vell, ven you get it, do come back and play at Miss Fifi's. (11) Get out of my house now, before I summon zee captain of the guard from zee gaming room... And do be careful on zee way out. Peasant Babe ------------ quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03 (CJD) / | | | aca-05 (random tip) | \ / | ac-04-acb-06 (CJD) | \ | acc-06 (CJD) | | ba-06 (CJD) | / -00-b-07-bb-08 (random tip) | \ | bc-06 (CJD) \ c-06 (CJD) Your replies (a) Whoa, are you a medieval peasant babe? (b) Whoa babe, mellow out. Tis merely Ted of San Dimas, lost in this most medieval of worlds. (c) At home, my excellent babe, I am known as the most eligible bachelor in San Dimas. (aa) Greetings, bodacious peasant babe, I am Ted of San Dimas! (ab) Greetings, I am Ted of San Dimas. I mean no harm but have merely lost my way. (ac) What's a bodacious babe such as yourself doing in such a most backwards place as this? (aca) Well, to be frank, the tumultuous tenants of this fine shire could behave more hospitably. (acb) With babes like you, what's not to like fair maiden? (acc) Whoa, you a most triumphant vision. (ba) Accompany me to the San Dimas High Prom, where we will have a most triumphant time? (bb) Perhaps you have seen ___ passing this way? (bc) How about your number, my most excellent vision of medieval beauty? Peasant's replies (00) Help! Who spies on me? (01) And who wants to know? (02) I'm sorry, but if I talk to a stranger, my father will have the man killed... And do be careful on thy way out. (03) Oh, come on Master Ted, do thee think that I was born yesterday? That line is more stale than thy breath... And do be careful on thy way out. (04) This shire does not please thee, Master Ted? (05) Perhaps this will help. (06) You had better hope that my husband, the ogre, has not overheard you. He's very jealous... And do be careful on thy way out. (07) And what do ye wish of me, a peasant maiden, Master Ted? (08) In fact, I have just seen ___. Now please leave me in peace. Ted --- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) a-01 (nothing) / | ba-03 (nothing) | / -00-b-02-bb-04 (nothing) | \ | bc-05 (random tip) | | ca-07 (random tip) \ / c-06-cb-08 (nothing) \ cc-09 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (b) Whoa, it's me! No way! (c) Hey, Ted, this is most excellent. Party on, self! (ba) The most elusive ___? (bb) The answers for the upcoming history exam? (bc) Could you lend me a few dollars? I'll pay you back! (ca) Well, Ted, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (cb) I could really use a few hints for this most perilous game! (cc) The local dudes have been most unfriendly. Ted's replies (00) Whoa, Ted, what am I doing here? (01) If you don't know, then I certainly don't, dude. (02) Yes way, Ted. What do you seek here in this most medieval of worlds? (03) Wake up Ted! If you don't know where ___ is, then how do you expect me to know?... And do be careful on your way out, dude. (04) Wrong adventure, dude... Keep your mind on your current problems. (05) No, but I can give you a tip... (06) Yes, my most excellent self, this is most triumphant. Can I be of any help? (07) Is that all? No problem, dude. (08) Well, dude, if you could figure out which questions to ask, then perhaps you would be more successful. (09) Well you'll just have to be more careful, now won't you? Town Crier ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-nothing / \ | ac-03 (jail) | | ba-05 (jail) | / -00-b-04-bb-05 (jail) | \ | bc-06 (random tip) | | ca-08 (CJD) \ / c-07-cb-09 (CJD) \ cc-10 (random tip) Your replies (a) Hey, mellow out dude. The door was open. (b) Hey dude, there's no reason to get all weepy, no matter how non- triumphant times may seem. (c) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have traveled long and far in search of ___. (aa) I am Ted of San Dimas, and I have come in search of ___. (ab) Well, excuse me for asking! Ciao, dude! (ac) I thought that perhaps I could find shelter here from the most acrimonious locals. (ba) You said you're the town's crier, right? (bb) I don't know dude, what are you talking about? (bc) Listen dude, I need a place to hide from the most highly antagonistic local dudes. (ca) Dude... The world... It's like round. (cb) If you chew a Wintergreen Mint in the dark, you get these excellent sparks in your mouth. (cc) The walrus was Paul?! Town Crier's replies (00) What are ye doing in my chambers?! Even the town crier deserves some privacy! (01) Insolent youth, what do ye want of me? (02) I am the town crier, not the town snitch. Perhaps ___ does not wish to be found by you, stranger. (03) Those locals are my friends. If they are after you, then I am sure they have good reason. Perhaps a trip to the jailer will straighten all of this out, yes? (04) What are you talking about? (05) You are even more ignorant than I had imagined. Perhaps a trip to the gallows will wise ye up... And be careful on thy way out. (06) Well, my son, I can not offer you shelter, but perhaps I can impart a piece of valuable information... (07) Ah, you have traveled from lands afar? Perhaps we can swap information. I deal in news from afar. What gossip can you offer me in return for news of ___? (08) What kind of fool do ye take me for? Get out before I have thee thrown out... And do be careful on your way out. (09) Every idiot knows that! Get out before I have you thrown out... And do be careful on your way out. (10) Now that is a exactly the sort of tidbit that the townsfolk around here enjoy. I suppose that I do owe you something of value for that. Ancient World - regular clues ============================= refers to clue ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- bait Check the bush for something strange, east of the temple. bait Look for something strange in a tree west of the palace. firecracker The natives practice magic in a corral up north. firecracker You can always find something at the four rocks. nothing Don't you have some homework you should be doing? nothing Get away from me kid, you're bothering me. nothing Hey look out! Watch where you're going buddy! nothing I don't know you! You have obviously mistaken me for someone else. pudding Travelers leave food as an offering at the temple. skeleton key There's a magic tree near a circle to the south. ?? I've heard something strange can be found up north. Ancient World - NPC conversation ================================ Army Recruiter Bill (or Ted) Egyptian Musician Gladiator Oracle of Delphi Trader Dan Army Recruiter -------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-nothing / \ | ac-03 (CJD) | | ba-05 (random tip) | / -00-b-04-bb-06 (jail) | \ | bc-06 (jail) | | ca-06 (jail) \ / c-07-cb-08 (jail) \ cc-09 (random tip) Your replies (a) What?! No way, dude, the ways of the warrior are in total opposition to my way of life. (b) Dude, I would welcome the adventure, but first I must complete my quest! (c) Dude, I will only lay down my life for the good old red, white and blue! (aa) Listen, dude, your karma is most rotten! (ab) Gee nice Mister Tough Dude, there is no need for violence. I'll just show myself out. (ac) I can't say that it's at the top of my list, dude. (ba) I have come far in search of ___. (bb) I seek something with which to battle the most violent natives! (bc) Just about anything, dude! (ca) The free coffee and doughnuts? (cb) Whoa, dude, I want to be all that I can be! (cc) Whoa, I don't know dude. No way do I wish to be here! Recruiter's replies (00) Ahoy little man. You have come to join the Emporer's army? (01) You don't approve of conquest?! What kind of wimp are you?! (02) Get out of here before I slice you to bits, you dipweed! (03) Get out of here, coward. We don't need any girly men in this outfit! ... And do be careful on your way out. (04) And what could be more important than doing the Emporer's bidding? (05) Well, (06) Insolent commoner! It's off to the gallows with you! (07) And what brings a foreign traitor like you to this recruitment center?! (08) Excellent! Sign here and you can report for duty immediately... at the stockade, traitor! (09) Well then, why don't you leave by the way you came. Bill ---- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (nothing) / a-01-ab-03 (nothing) / \ | ac-04 (nothing) | | ba-06 (random tip) | / -00-b-05-bb-07 (nothing) | \ | bc-08 (nothing) | | ca-10 (random tip) \ / c-09-cb-11 (nothing) \ cc-12 (nothing) Your replies (a) Whoa, Bill, what am I doing here? (b) Excellent! I love when this happens! Greetings Bill! (c) Whoa, how do I know that you're not the most evil android version of my excellent self? (aa) Well, Bill, I am having a most difficult time finding ___. (ab) I could really use a good cheat for this game. (ac) The local dudes are most pugnacious. What should I do? (ba) If you're me, then why don't you tell me? (bb) I don't know. (bc) Could you lend me a little dinero? (ca) Okay, what did I do to thwart the local vandals? (cb) What happened to me and Ted in our excellent sequel? (cc) What number am I thinking of? Bill's replies (00) Whoa, Bill, what am I doing here? (01) I suspect, my most excellent self, that I need some information! How can I help me? (02) Duh, Bill, if you don't know where he is, then how do you expect me to know? (nothing) (03) Sorry, dude, but I am far too busy playing Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure II - The Sequel. Good luck, dude! (04) Avoid them?! ... Did you really expect the game to be that easy? (05) Greetings, my excellent self. What do I seek here in this most triumphant of video games? (06) Alright, smarty. You seek ___. (07) Ah, Bill, when will I ever learn?! Oh well, keep trying self. (08) No way, dude. How many times do I have to tell myself! Never a borrower or a lender be! (09) Go ahead, ask me about anything that we know. (10) Easy dude! (11) The answer to that question will be 7 dollars, please, payable at your local theater. (12) Didn't you already ask me that? Egyptian Musician ----------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / a-01-ab-03-aba-04 (CJD) / \ | abb-05 (CJD) | | ba-07 (random tip) | / -00-b-06-bb-08 (jail) | | ca-10 (CJD) \ / c-09-cb-11 (random tip) \ cc-12 (CJD) Your replies (a) Greetings dude! I am Bill of Wyld Stallyns. You play most triumphantly. Wanna jam? (b) Awesome notes, dude. Do you know smoke on the water? (c) Dude, I hope that's just a hobby, because you play most heinously. (aa) Gee, I don't know that tune, but it sounds radical! (ab) A cobra! Excellent! Can I try charming him with my musical prowess? (aba) Well, I don't know that many songs yet, but I play a most excellent lead. (abb) I can play Epic by Faith No More! (ba) The oracle dude? You know him too? Cool! (bb) No wonder you're so upset. That oracle is one disagreeable dude. (ca) Actually, I am looking for ___, but have had no luck as the locals are most unaccommodating. (cb) Actually, I am taking refuge from the most unfriendly ancient dudes. (cc) Obviously not the non-triumphant notes that you are playing. Musician's replies (00) Dum dum dee dee diddle diddle dee. (01) Beware of my snake, young one. (02) What are you, stupid? Get out of here and let me practice... And be careful on thy way out. (03) What songs do you know, my youthful bard? (04) Well, why don't you lead yourself to the door and go bother somebody else. I must practice now... And do be careful on thy way out. (05) Are you saying that you've lost all faith in your fellow man? I can not stand for that! Take you negative attitude and leave my house... And do be careful on thy way out. (06) The sea is on fire you say? That oracle, he was right. (07) Yes, he told me that a lad would come to me seeking ___ and that I must tell him this... (08) By Apollo! He told me when the seas burn, a young demon from the skies would come to me, but that I should fear him not, because he would be captured. (09) Thank you son. I'll take that as a compliment. What brings you here? (10) Well, ___ rarely attends my recitals, so why don't you just leave me alone and let me practice... And do be careful on thy way out. (11) I'm a not surprised with that attitude of yours. You need some help. (12) Why don't you just go back where you come from and let me practice... And do be careful on thy way out. (03) Be gone, pig... And do be careful on thy way out. (04) And what business would ye have with such a mighty figure, slave boy? (05) Prepare to die! (06) What news could you possibly bear that ___ would be interested in? (07) Well, the gods have certainly chosen an unlikely messenger, but (08) You, lowly urn scum, challenge me? (09) Be gone before I decide to spare Caesar's Republic your most annoying existence. (10) Perhaps we should meet outside. And do bring your friends... I'll be bringing mine. Oracle of Delphi ---------------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aa-02 (CJD) / | aba-04 (random tip) | / a-01-ab-03-abb-05 (CJD) / | \ | | abc-05 (CJD) | \ | ac-06 (nothing) | | ba-08 (nothing) | / -00-b-07-bb-04 (random tip) | \ | bc-09 (jail) \ c-10 (jail) Your replies (a) Whoa, how do you know who I am? (b) You're one of those oracle dudes, aren't you? (c) Will Wyld Stallyns rule most triumphantly?! (aa) Whoa, that's heavy! (ab) No way! If you're a psychic-dude, then tell me, what number am I thinking of? (ac) Will David Lee Roth ever rejoin Van Halen? (aba) Whoa, that's cool. Can you help me find ___? (abb) Whoa, that's pretty cool, but you probably just saw my excellent movie. (abc) Well, how about this, dude - what's black and white and red all over? (ba) Well, as you must know, my good godly dude, I am searching for ___. Can you be of assistance? (bb) The local dudes act most inhospitably when I approach them. What should I do? (bc) Well, lay some oraclizing on me, my most psychic dude. Oracle's replies (00) Ah, Bill, the Great One of San Dimas, I knew that you would be coming. Ask whatever you must, of the past, present, or future, and I will provide the answers that you seek. (01) I am the Oracle of Delphi. My blindness allows me to see all. Ask what you will and I shall provide the answers that you seek. (02) Insolent commoner! Leave this temple before I sick the Emporer's troops on you... And be careful on your way out. (03) 69. (04) (05) I see danger for you just outside the door. You had better leave now, before the danger grows. (06) Excellent question. When the rest of his hair falls out, the two triumphant ones will rejoin. Goodbye great one. Be excellent to each other and party on, dude! (07) Yes, excellent one. Your own powers of observation are astounding. But isn't there something that you would like to know? (08) I see nothing at this time. Perhaps if you come back later, I can be of assistance. (09) I see you heading to jail. I hope that you may find a key there. That is all. (10) Wyld Stallyns, Wyld Stallyns...hmm...let me see. You must find ___ if the band is to succeed. That has just become more difficult, however, as I see you heading to jail. That is all. Trader Dan ---------- quick chart (see below for the exact quote) aaa-03 (CJD) / aa-02-aab-04 (random tip) / \ | aac-05 (CJD) | a-01-ab-06 (CJD) / \ | ac-07 (nothing) | | ba-09 (CJD) | / -00-b-08-bb-10 (random tip) | \ | bc-nothing | | ca-12 (CJD) \ / c-11-cb-12 (CJD) \ cc-12 (CJD) Your replies (a) Trader Dan, I am Ted of San Dimas and I have traveled far in search of ___. (b) Your chariots are most fine indeed, Mister Dan, but I am afraid that they will not help me vanquish the most angry locals. (c) Trader Dan?! Haven't our paths converged before? (aa) Trader Dan, I don't think that you understand. (ab) Frater-what? (ac) Trader Dan, if I am unable to find ___, then I will have no use for this fine vehicle. (aaa) Listen dude, I have neither the money nor the inclination to buy these most questionable wheels. (aab) Dan, dude, can we talk? If I can find ___, I will have the money to buy an even more costly chariot. (aac) But I don't even own a beast of burden with which to pull this fine wagon. (ba) Gee, Trader Dan, will you accept my dad's charge card? (bb) But I am unable to garner wages while being pursued by these most combative dudez. (bc) Trader Dan, I shall ignore that request and leave. And remember the first golden rule - be excellent to each other. (ca) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me some broken down old horse in Colonial World! (cb) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me a broken down chariot in Ancient World?! (cc) No way dude, didn't you try to sell me some bogus pistol in Western World?! Trader Dan's replies (00) You say you need a chariot? Something snazzy to impress the ladies? My boy, you've come to the right place. Trader Dan's the name, chariots the game. (01) Listen sonny, if you want to fraternize with the rich and famous, you need the right wheels. I've got just the thing. (02) Of course I do. I know, you're worried that you won't be able to pay for such a flashy vehicle. Don't worry, with just a little money down you can drive away today. (03) No money down? Maybe I'd better show you something else... Like the door... And do be careful on your way out. (04) Well, well, well, why didn't you just come out and say so? Come back soon now, ya hear? (05) Listen, kid, why don't you come back when you're ready to buy. In the meantime, don't bother me... And do be careful on your way out. (06) You know, consort, mingle, mix, socialize, hobnob. I've obviously misjudged you... And do be careful on your way out. (07) Well, ___ happens to be a close personal friend of mine, so give ___ my regards and come back when you're ready to buy. (08) Having trouble with the locals, eh? Well, for a price, perhaps your old friend Dan can to help you. (09) Credit?! I don't even know you! Get out of my store now. (10) Money? Now you're talking my language, kid. And remember, it was Trader Dan who told you. Come back soon now, ya hear? (11) Why sure, kid, didn't we serve side by side, shoulder to shoulder, in Cyprus? (12) I don't know what you're talking about kid. Now get out of here before I call the cops. ============================================================================= VII. MAPS ============================================================================= Here are the maps of all 6 worlds. I've rotated the map 45 degrees counter clockwise. Therefore, be sure to rotate it back when you use it. For example, here is the compass directions according to my map and according to how they are in the game. Also, the maps are only an approximation. I've drawn the areas around the baits more clearly. My map's compass Game map's compass N N | / W - + - E W -- . -- E | / S S Legend ------ * locations (each will be individually described below) . horse area | wall, fence - wall, fence = horse trough + intersection (aka crossroad) B bait C cassette tape F firecracker P pudding S skeleton key T highly dangerous textbooks Medieval World -------------- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | + ||_||_||*| S| + |__||__||_*| + | | __ --B | * | || | | | __ B | 4 || * | | | _ _______ | 4 || | | | |F| | | | || | | | | | | ||__* | | | | | ___| | | | | |___ | __ _ | | | | | || | |T| |__* | | | || | | T | | 3 ||__| | | | 3 | __ __ __ | | | | | || || | | | | | |__||*_||__| | | | ---| + + | T | |--- | _ | | | || | | | | || * | | | 2 ||_| __ | | | 2 |...... | | | | | |. . | | | | | ___|. . | * | | |___ |. . | | | | | |. . |__| | | | |. . |_______| | 1 |...... __ __ __ | 1 | | || || | _________ | | B |__||__||_*| | | | | _ |*_______*| B | | + |P + + | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Location Description ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- B1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold UP F1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you do nothing J1/K1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold DOWN A1 Bait. Find it on the first tree above the intersection. A1-A2 Horse track. A2 Historical dude. Otherwise take the other door to warp next to Miss Fifi's house. A4 Top door contains historical dude if clue says ___ is at Lord's castle. Otherwise take the other door inside to warp next to Miss Fifi's house. A4 Bottom door is peasant babe's house. B3 Textbook. Find it in a small fence enclosure containing rocks. B4 Bait. Find it left of the Knight's house at the center of where 3 fences intersect. C1 Pudding. Find it in a small fence enclosure containing rocks. C3 Ted's house. D1 Miss Fifi's house. D4 Knight's house. D4/E4 Skeleton key. Find it on a lone fence just to the right of the Knight's house. F2 Jail. F3 Town crier's house. F4 Firecrackers. Find it in the middle of an fence enclosure aka corral containing 2 rocks and a bush on the corral's south side. H1 Jester's Bar and Grill Bartender. H4 Four rocks. Find pudding on the left rock that has 2 smaller pebbles below it. I1 Historical dude. Otherwise take the other door inside to warp next to the Knight's house. I4/J4 Historical dude if clue says ___ in village. Otherwise take the other door inside to warp next to Knight's house. J1 Bait. Find it on the first fence you see just to the left of the intersection. J1-4/K1-4 Canoe and river with 2 textbooks. J4/K4 Bait. Find it on the northmost rock on the left just below the intersection. Western World ------------- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | + |F| |_*|B|_*| |___| + |___||_*_| + | |....... = = = * | |.|_| . B | 4 |. _ . _ C | 4 |.|_| . | * ......... | |.|_| . |_| . . | |.|_| . . _ . | ___|.|_| . .| | . |___ |. _ . .|_| . | |.|_| . _ . . | |. _ . | * . . | 3 |.|_| . |_| . _ . | 3 |.|_| . .| | . | |.|_| . __ __ .|_| . | |....... |_*| |_*| . _ . | ---| + = * + = + .|_| . |--- |B .|_| . | | _ .|_| . | |....... | * . . | 2 |. _ . |_| . . | 2 |. |F|. . _ . | |. - . _ .| | . | ___|. . |_| .|_| . |___ |. . |_| . . | |. . _ . . | |. . | * . . | 1 |. . |_| . . | 1 |....... ......... | | __ _ | | |__||*| B | | + = P + + | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Location Description ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold DOWN D1/E1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you do nothing J1/K1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold UP A1-A2 Horse track. A2 Bait. Find it in front of a teepee beyond the first horse ride on the west side and near the crossroads. A3-4/B3-4 Horse track. B1 Pudding. Find in a corral. B1/C1 Mexican's house. B3/C3 Cowboy's house. B4 Firecrackers. Find it in a corral. B4/C4 Historical dude Otherwise take the door to warp near Card Dealer's house. C2/C3 3 threes (3 rocks, 3 bushes, 3 campfires). Find textbooks in the center of them. C4 Bait. Find it in the alley between the jail and the Historical dude's house. Easiest way to find is to get caught by CJD and then go left after escaping jail. C4/D4 Jail. D1 Bait. Find it just north of the crossroads. You'll see 2 rocks above and below 2 tree stumps. Bait is just above the tree stumps. D1 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp near NW corner. D2 Bill's house. F3/G3 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp near Card Dealer's house. G3 Historical dude. House is facing east. Otherwise take the door to warp near NW corner. G4 Bait. Find it in front of a teepee just south of the crossroads. Look for a teepee with 2 rocks to the north and a tree stump in front. G4 Marshal's house. I4 Trader Dan's house. J1-4/K1-4 Horse track. J4 Four rocks. Find pudding on the rock between the 2 long vertical rock columns. J4 Cassette tapes. Find them in front of a teepee just above the horse track. Colonial World -------------- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | + |_*_|||_| C |___| |_*_| + | | _ B _______ | || * | | | 4 ||_| | | | 4 | | | | | | | | | | | | ___| | | |___ | B | | | | | | | | + + | | | 3 | _ ......... | | | 3 | | * .|_| . | | | | |_| .|_| . | | | | |_| .|_| . | T | | ---| _ .|_| . | | |--- | |_* .|_| . | | | | | | . . |_______| | | |_* ......... ___ | 2 | F |___| | 2 | + + + | | _ _______ * B | ___||_| | | _ |___ | _ | S | | * | || * | | |_| | ||_| | | | 1 | | | | 1 | _ __ __ | T | ___ | | |_||_*||_*| |_______| |_* | | | _ B | | + |P + + | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Location Description ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- C3 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you do nothing H2 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold UP I4 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold DOWN A1 Historical dude. Otherwise take door to warp to four rocks. A2 Jail. A2 Metalsmith's son's house. A3 Historical dude. Brick house. Otherwise take door to warp to the four rocks. A4 Tax Collector's house. A4/B4 Bait. Find it on a south bush just east of the NW intersection. B1 Green Minuteman's house. B1/C1 Pudding. Find it in a corral. B3 Bait. Find it on a fence just east of the intersection. B4/C4 Miss Fifi's house. C1 Trader Dan's house. D4 Cassette tapes. Just above the double fence. E1 Bait. Find it on a fence just west of the intersection. E2 Firecrackers. Find it on a left fence north of the intersection. EFG1-2 River with textbook and skeleton key. EFG2-3 Horse track. F4/G4 Historical dude. Otherwise take door to warp next to Green Minuteman's house. H1 Historical dude. Otherwise take door to warp next to Green Minuteman's house. H2 Four rocks. Find pudding in the rock between the 2 long vertical rock columns. J1/K1 Ted's house. J2 Bait. Find it between a rock and a bush at the bottom of the screen just left of the intersection. J2-4/K2-4 River with a textbook. Modern World ------------ | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | + |__| |__| + |__| |_*| + | | _ _ B | || * | * _______ | 4 ||_| _ |_| | || 4 ||_| |F| _ | T || ||_| |_| | || || * _ | || ___||_| __ __ _ ___ | * | ||___ | |__| |_*| |_| |_*_| |_| | S || | B | || | + + + | || 3 | _____ _ _ | || 3 || | | * | | | || || | |_| |_| | || || | _ _ | C || ---|| | |_| | | | ||--- || | _ |_| _ | S || || | | * |F| |_______|| || | |_| __ | 2 || | |__| | 2 || | + + * + | || | _ _ | ___|| S | | | | * |___ || | |_| |_| | || | _ | || | | | | 1 || T | |_| | 1 || | B | ||_____| __ __ __ | | |__||__| C P |_*| | | + B + + | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Location Description ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A3 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you do nothing I1/J1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold DOWN J4 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold UP A1-3/B1-3 River with textbook and skeleton key. A3/B3 Bait. Find it on a fence next to the left house. A4 Jail. A4 US Marine Recruiter's office. A4/B4 Firecracker. Find it in a corral. B3/C3 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp to the four rocks. C1 Bait. Find it on a rock near the right house. D2 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp to B1 D3 Miss Fifi's house. E1 Cassette tapes. Find it on a fence east of the intersection. E3 Trader Dan's house. F1 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp to the four rocks. F1 Pudding. Find it above the double fence. G3/G4 Historical dude. Otherwise take the door to warp to B1 G4 Gangster's house. H2 Firecracker. Find it in a corral. I2 Four rocks. Find pudding on the left rock that has 2 smaller pebbles below it. I4 Bait. Find it on a rock near the left house. J1-2/K1-2 Ted's house. J2-4/K2-4 River with 2 skeleton keys, cassette tape, and textbook. J4 Big Al's Speakeasy. K1 Bait. Find it on a tree on the left side just north of the SW intersection. Medieval World 2 ---------------- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | + ||_||_||*| S| + |__||__||_*| + | | __ --B | * | || | | | __ B | 4 || * | | | _ _______ | 4 || | | | |F| | | | || | | | | | | ||__* | | | | | ___| | | | | |___ | __ _ | | | | | || | |T| |__* | | | || | | T | | 3 ||__| | | | 3 | __ __ __ | | | | | || || | | | | | |__||*_||__| | | | ---| + + | T | |--- | _ | | | || | | | | || * | | | 2 ||_| __ | | | 2 |...... | | | | | |. . | | | | | ___|. . | * | | |___ |. . | | | | | |. . |__| | | | |. . |_______| | 1 |...... __ __ __ | 1 | | || || | _________ | | B |__||__||_*| | | | | _ |*_______*| B | | + |P + + | ---+-----------------------------------------------------------------+--- | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | Location Description ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- B1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold UP F1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you do nothing J1/K1 Starting location from Circuits of Time if you hold DOWN A1 Bait. Find it on the first tree abov